Vacation

They say, there's nothing like a vacation to clear the mind and since mine had been all over the place lately, I decided it was time for me to take one. I can't even remember the last time I've been on a real vacation. Sure, my work and other interests have taken me places, but a real genuine nothing-is-expected-of-me vacation has been rare in my life.
I could even smell it in the air that this was the perfect time for it and the south east of France would be my destination.

I'd never been here before, but in my mind it has always been a place of wonder, where time stood still in the cracks of the old buildings breathing their history in the ears of anyone willing to listen, wandering the alleys of cities home to the forgotten.
Forgotten, a word that my mind turns into the pure sensation of ecstasy. How I would love to be forgotten, the world passing me by and leaving me to drown in the peace and quiet still offered daily by those whispering alley voices, almost begging me to surrender to them.

But, like I said, I'd never been here before and my mind is not always the most reliable judge of reality. There's a certain heat in the air here that seems to slow people down, though it's incapable of keeping them from constantly moving. So many of them crawling through the streets utterly ignorant of all the ones who've walked before them. If there ever were voices of wisdom enchanting these alleys, they've slowly faded from loneliness. It are the souls no longer present that are forgotten here, not the creatures inhabiting these cities.

Ever since I've arrived here, I, too, can feel the heat constantly accompanying me, nicely wrapped around my body, even slowing down my mind. There are moments I truly believe that this could be what peace and quiet actually feels like.
I've been here for two weeks now and although I still very much enjoy the way it makes me feel, I can also sense the moments it's slowly losing its grip on me. Fragments of darkness slip in, reminding me of all the sweet things I'm missing out of. They make me smile as I take them as a sign that I'm almost ready to go home again.

"This place can really make you smile, can't it?"

For a moment I'm puzzled whether it's a voice in my head, but looking at the enormous smile directly facing me from the man standing next to me, I doubt I'd be so lucky. My smile wasn't an invitation for a conversation. Then again, maybe there's no harm in indulging my darkness just a tiny bit.

"It most definitely can. This is one of the most amazing views I've ever seen in my life."

The view really is amazing, clear blue ocean as far the eye can reach, kissing a cloudless sky at the horizon. When you look very closely, you can even be found guilty of voyeurism by the local ocean life.

"I come here every morning, it reminds me of how lucky I am. Do you live around here?", the man asks. He still has this ridiculously big smile covering his entire face.

"No, I'm just here on vacation, enjoying the quiet life as long as I can."

I try to keep a smile, but I don't want to seem like I'm faking it. My hand places itself into my pocket as if it's trying to find a nice relaxing place to lay itself down and enjoy the view in its own way. Only that's not it, is it? Suddenly, I realize I'm smiling again. I can almost smell the wood from the handle of the knife in my hand, I can feel my fingers play with its shape and I can sense the blade begging me to caress his body and cover its cold steel in his warm blood.

"Would you like to join me for a drink?"

I can hear his nerves acting up in the tone of his voice. He must have picked up on my longing smile and the lust my eyes are most definitely projecting right now. I remind myself I'm on vacation, there is only looking, not touching. The fantasy played out in front of my eyes, yet not the fulfillment of the deed itself. Knowing I'm letting him go, reduces my smile without any effort necessary from my part.

"Thank you for the offer, but no, I should really be heading back to my hotel. Enjoy the rest of your day."

I can see the disappointment in his eyes, yet his smile is unwilling to reduce by even an inch. He wishes me the same, I turn around, feel my body hesitating for a moment and then I part.

Only a few more days left in this paradise, a few more days to feel the peace and quiet I yearned for when I decided to come here. Now, all I'm yearning for is my sweet indulging life at home. I guess, there really is nothing like a vacation to clear the mind.